I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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