Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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