the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
