I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
