Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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