I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
