I look better un-naked...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
