so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
