I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
