Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
