Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
