Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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