My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
