Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
