you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
