I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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