Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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