no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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