You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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