so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
