me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
