Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
