So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Boobs speak an international language.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
