Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I believe in your delicious
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
