the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
