When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
