Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
