yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
