My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
