come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
