dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
