Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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