i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
