I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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