Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Hippo gnu deer
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
