I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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