We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
