I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
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