I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
