i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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