ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
