Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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