If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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