They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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