Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
