You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
