Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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