I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize