? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
