Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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