I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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