Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
