dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just made my gag reflex go away.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The Olympian is in my bed
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
